In time,  Selected writings 1983-2018, © 1983-2019



When I was a child time was dripping slowly like honey. It consisted only of today. Then came tomorrow, the day after tomorrow became reality. I could look back upon yesterday’s scars. 

Now it is a rapid stream, dragging all sorts of debris along. Carrying me towards a roaring cascade. 

It doesn’t frighten me. I seek order in the current, in the flow of time.

2016, July 4

* * *


Patience is a moody friend. It comes and goes. Sometimes it abandones me when I want to rely on it. Then it surprises me with its company when I expect it the least. Every now and then it goes hand in hand with acceptance.

Acceptance plays hard to get with me.

I’m going to stick with patience, at times it seems almost the same.

2016, July 8

 * * *


I’m trying to adjust. Keep up with their development. Trying to redefine my own self to connect. I’m fascinated by the growth they show, the maturation they unveil.

The journey they are starting leads them to places I will never go. I can only hope to add useful and meaningful things to their knowledge, to enhance their competency. To encourage them to explore, be bold.

Amidst the daily hassle, I’m trying to stay in touch with them. Trying to make way for their own steps forward.


2016, June 24


* * *


I am wrong. Wrong to think that everything can be fixed. It is a mistake assuming that if only… then things would be better. Because things will never be the same again. They won’t be like before.

It is not bad. Good to start anew, to reinvent the wheel.

Even though the wheel is a perfect device, it is possible to move forward by other means. It only needs an invention.

 Only. If only.

 2017, February 1


* * *

Don’t look back

When saying farewell is too painful, don’t look back.
When a goodbye makes you leave a part of you behind, don’t look back.

Going forth is progress. Focusing on the future is constructive. Hope is looking forward. A wish is trying to enter tomorrow.

Striding ahead till there are no more steps left to stride.

2017, February 16


* * *

Perfect lover

I love you because you are still a blend of you and me,
Distant and perfect.
I love you because there is no fear between the two of us and
There is no knowledge.

I love you because you don’t know.

1983, October 18


* * *

Unreachable you

I love you,
Put your hands on my shoulder.
I love you,
Always dreaming of you, lover.
I love you,
Until the new morning.
I love you,
Again, with a fresh longing.

1984, January 9


* * *


If pain makes me enduring,
If love makes me old,
If my hands are aged from caress,
If I lose my teeth in a kiss,
I will look for you in the dark,
Searching blindly with my fingers.
I’ll take a huge sip of you,
And laugh softly.

1984, August 13


* * *


Your toothbrush is still in the bathroom.
A self-made memento?
Our kisses barely taste.
Would you believe that the feeling is stronger as it fades?
Your voice may be my fantasy tomorrow…
Why did I just dream without you?

1983, August 12


* * *

Time again

It is time again,
For a rendez-vous with solitude.
The hours of loneliness
Advance with weary minutes.

As a shadow
My fate follows,
And weaves a web of
Familiar coincidences around me.

1984, December 11


* * *

Lost and found

Courage once lost now found again.
Yesterday was burdensome.
Today is still challenging.
Tomorrow will be welcoming.

I know.

2017, July 7


* * *

In time

I will wait for you,
As long as it takes.
I will wait for you,
As long as I can.

Even if you never find me,
I will wait for you.
Even if you never look for me,
I hope you’ll know that I waited.

2017, December 18


* * *


Some day
I will go away.
I will be free,
I will be me.

I will be a thought or a feeling,
Not a human being.
Will I have given all?
Will I have said it all?

2018, June 5



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